Teaching Your Children How to Stay Out of Trouble

Photo Credit: Just Say No image created by Educlips

There is so much confusion, distraction, and negativity being thrown at our kids. They are being exposed to many inappropriate topics these days. The media tries to tell them that doing wrong things are okay, even though it’s not. It’s very disheartening and concerning. As parents, we can change our mindset and be proactive in helping our children learn right from wrong. We can be intentional in teaching our kids what not to do so we can help prevent them from doing it. We can be a positive influence over our children.

My teaching experience taught me that kids are being exposed to wrong things at such an early age. And they aren’t aware that it is wrong. There are many negative behaviors that they think is okay to do because they were never taught that it was wrong. A child that is allowed to watch TV shows that promote violence, stealing, cheating, lying and other negative behaviors will believe that these behaviors are acceptable if they aren't taught otherwise. A child who listens to songs that promote stealing and taking drugs will have a high probability of thinking that living that way is acceptable. Kids are gullible and influenced so easily by what they see and hear.

I have learned so much over the years from having to guide my students and their parents. Going through these experiences helped me understand that you have to be a proactive parent and regularly teach your kids what not to do. You have to teach them ahead of time, not wait for it to happen first before teaching it. And children need constant reminders to learn. Telling a child one time is not enough to make it retain in their mind.

I have to apply these principles with my children too. I intentionally and regularly teach my kids not to lie, not to cheat, not to steal, etc. I tell them why they shouldn’t do it and I teach them about the punishment that results from participating in this type of behavior. Kids also need to be taught about tough topics such as not taking drugs and not to use guns. The scary fact is that kids are learning about these types of behaviors younger and younger from TV, music ,overhearing adult conversations, talking with their peers, etc. It’s our job as parents to guide them into doing the right thing, so they can stay out of trouble.

As parents, we can teach them how to stay out of trouble. We can teach them to be leaders who do the right thing so they can be positive role model for their peers. As parents, we really need to do our part to help the youth. It starts in our own home. Children are our future leaders. We have to do what we can to lead them on the right path. It will not be easy, but we can do it if we are purposeful. The Bible tells us explicitly what is expected of us when it comes to how we should live our lives. And it’s up to us as parents to help our children, who have been entrusted to us.

It’s easy to complain about the bad things that people do in the world. But it takes courage to be intentional in helping your kids by teaching them and making sure they aren’t filling their minds with garbage. There were many times where I would complain about these things. Then I felt God’s calling on me to create content that would help parents and children. If you need resources to help you with this, please download and use Parenting Toolkit #5- Teaching Your Children How to Stay Out of Trouble. And remember that the Lord is always here to guide you in parenting your children. You can do this!

Seeing Improvement in Your Children’s Academics, Behavior, and Emotions Takes Time

Photo: Flash cards by Crayola. Reading Comprehension Worksheet by Parents Building Prodigy Kids.

There are times when our children experience difficulty with their academics, behavior, or emotions. Helping our children learn how to overcome these challenges usually takes a lot of time. We live in a fast paced world, so we are used to getting things right away. While getting things done quickly is convenient, most things in life take a lot of time to become accomplished successfully.

Children have a lot of needs. As parents, we can make a decision to do our best to support them. One thing we need to remember is that improvement takes time. We have to give strategies a chance to work. Sometimes after we have given an ample amount of time for a strategy that isn’t working, we may have to choose a different method if necessary. This should be done only after we have given the previous strategy enough time to see if it really is effective.

Teachers apply this concept in the classroom. Some children need extra support academically, behaviorally, or emotionally. They may receive a plan with specific goals, action, and progress monitoring in order to help them master the skill that they need to improve on. The first couple of times when the teacher is working with the student, it may not seem like the child is improving. But with consistent practice and time, the positive results gradually present themselves. Then after looking at the recorded data, you can see the progress that took place. This can only work if you are committed to put in the dedicated time and work necessary to accomplish it. You can’t expect to get desired results without putting in the necessary work and time.

I believe that little by little we can accomplish things. Sometimes we put so much extra pressure on ourselves that we get overwhelmed before we even start. There are things you can do with your kids in small amounts of time each day that will add up over time and show successful results. I’m going to share some possible scenarios that some children experience difficulty with and provide examples of methods to try at home. I hope this will inspire you to look up ideas, so you can help your kids when they need it.

Math Scenario

A dad notices that his daughter is having a difficult time with multiplication. His daughter understands the concept of how to multiply, but it’s a challenge for her to remember her multiplication facts fluently. He decides to come up with a plan. Each night they set aside 10 minutes to focus on practicing multiplication. He decides to have her trace a set of math facts each night because he learned that writing things down helps us remember things. Each night he has his daughter trace/write a set of multiplication facts. He writes the facts on a piece of paper and she traces them so she can remember.

On Saturdays she completes a worksheet with a mixture of multiplication facts. He also plays multiplication songs from his phone, because he learned that children can learn through music. They decide to consistently continue this process for 3 months and will check to see if there is improvement in her multiplication fact fluency before deciding whether or not they need to try a new method.

Reading Scenario

A mom has become aware that her son is having trouble with reading comprehension. He can read very well fluently, but he does not always understand everything he reads. His mom decides to use resources to enhance his comprehension. She decides to purchase a comprehension workbook online. They will set aside 15 minutes each day for him to read the passage and answer the questions.

The mom has committed to checking over her son’s work and helping him with the questions that he doesn’t understand. This is doable because the workbook they purchased has the answer key included. So all that is needed is for her to dedicate time to read over the passage first and then discuss it with her son after he has completed the work. They decide to regularly implement this process for at least 2 months before making a decision of whether or not to find a different resource to use. They might also come to the conclusion that this is something they want to add to their routine schedule because it is working so well. And they have learned that reading comprehension gets more challenging each year for children.

Handwriting Scenario

A dad observes that his son is having a hard time with writing his letters legibly. He decides to have his child trace his uppercase and lowercase letters each night in order to master this skill. He sets up a Pinterest account which provides them with an abundance of handwriting resources and ideas. He prints out the handwriting pages for his son to practice tracing each night so he can become proficient in his handwriting. They commit to 10 minutes of handwriting practice per night. The dad will check to see if there is any progress in his son’s handwriting after 3 months of dedicated practice.

Behavior Scenario

A mom sees that her daughter is having difficulty with keeping her hands to herself. She has been hitting children at school. The mom decides to purchase a behavior incentive chart online. Her daughter can put a star on it each time she comes home with a good report from school for not hitting any classmates. She learned that visual and tangible resources are good for kids to use when tracking their progress.

Every morning the mom will have a talk with her child, letting her know that she is loved and that she was created by God to be a well behaved child that is kind and does good things in the world. She decides to have her daughter stop watching a TV show that she thinks encouraged her to start hitting others. The mom also tells her daughter that she will lose a special privilege if there are days where she misbehaves at school (e.g- favorite toy will be taken away for the day, screen time lost for the day, etc). The mom decides she will check for growth after a month to see if this strategy is working or if they need to add something else to what they are currently doing.

Emotions Scenario

A mom and dad notice their daughter has been very sad lately. She doesn’t feel good about how she looks. She has been comparing herself to others. The parents decide that they will be sure to remind their child every morning and every night that she is beautiful and made in God’s image. The parents will remind her of her wonderful talents and strengths. Affirmation posters will be put up in her bedroom as visual reminders. The parents will figure out what caused her to start feeling negative about herself. Maybe it was a classmate, a book she read, or a TV show she watched. The parents will intentionally find positive resources to uplift their daughter.

Closing

As parents, we have the task of helping our children overcome their academic, behavior, and emotional challenges. My teaching experience taught me that it’s so important for parents to be there for their children. Children need guidance from their parents to help them. It’s hard and sad for a child when they don’t receive support in areas they are struggling with. In general there are no short cuts to helping our kids .Yes, every now and then you might get a day that appears to be easier than most. But for the majority of the time hard work, time, and patience are what is needed to help our children achieve.

In life there will always be something we need to work on to improve. That’s just how it goes. Everyone goes through things even if we don’t see it. I hope you are encouraged to help your kids improve in the areas they are having difficulty. Whenever you feel stuck, pray to God and He can help you figure out what you need to do.

Be Intentional About Teaching Your Children on a Regular Basis How to Have Good Character

I was a teacher for many years before I became a parent. That experience taught me a lot of things in this parenting journey~ things I don’t think I would have known otherwise. Being in the classroom, along with studying education and child development research enables me to apply what I’ve learned to my personal parenting journey. I also want to encourage and help parents.

I discovered how important it is to teach positive character to children starting when they are as young as babies and toddlers. Children don’t automatically know how to behave correctly. They need to be taught. Teaching this skill requires work and commitment from parents. It is not enough to just hope that they learn it in school or maybe once a week on Sundays at church. Parents have to be dedicated to teaching and modeling to their children how to have good character. Character traits like treating others with respect, being responsible, being diligent, being honest, being patient… and the list goes on and on.

I love this quote that says “Good character is not formed in a week or a month. It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and patient effort is needed to develop good character.” As parents, we can make a commitment to set aside a few minutes each day to teach our kids how to have good character and how to make good decisions. Just like we have to take time to teach our children subjects such as reading and math, the same concept applies to teaching our kids about character.

It’s also important to remember that our kids, like us, will never be perfect. They will make mistakes at times. Their actions might embarrass us occasionally. But we have to be committed to keep loving them always, being patient, and positively teaching them. You also have to discipline your children when they misbehave. Deciding to not correct or deal with bad behavior does not solve the problem. It usually makes the behavior worse. It’s best to take time to figure out why they are behaving that way and take the necessary steps to help them change for the better.

We can help our children learn that life will not always go their way and that they will face challenges. They need to be taught to do the right thing, even if everyone else is doing the wrong thing. As parents, we can teach them how to positively overcome challenges, so they don’t fall apart every time someone does or says something unkind to them.

Your children’s character is also influenced by what they watch, what they listen to, and who they spend the majority of their time with. As parents, we have to be aware of these things so we can guide them in the right direction.

Life is busy, but you have to be intentional about teaching good character to your kids on a regular basis. It’s one of our responsibilities as a parent. God will hold us accountable to this. You can help your kids develop good character by reading books to them that teach good character. Read Bible verses to them. Play children’s songs for them that sing about having good character traits. Be a model with your words and actions so they have a good example to follow. Having well behaved kids with good character will make you feel good as a parent. And God does amazing things in our life when we honor Him through obedience and good character! Please be encouraged and try your best each day~ take it one day at a time.

Teach Your Children to Face Their Fears and Have Courage

Everyone in life has fears. Even the people who are confident and may appear as if they have it all together experience fear. The difference is that some people are courageous and do what needs to be done even when they are afraid. When you are courageous you decide to be brave even though you are afraid. Many times after you have confronted your fear enough times you realize you are not fearful of it anymore.

I believe we need to teach this to our children starting at a young age. As parents, we can teach our kids to not let their fears hold them back from accomplishing great things in life. We can help them live successful lives by exposing them to this concept during their youth. In the Christian faith, the Bible teaches us that God will help us accomplish things even if we are afraid. He did not give us a spirit of fear, so when we feel fear we can pray to Him to help us. Isaiah 41:13, says “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”

We can teach our children to confront their fears with courage. Many times the more they practice confronting them, the less power the fear has over them. We can explain that there are some things that we are afraid of that are important for us to do. A child might have a fear of speaking in front of the class. You can tell them that this is an important skill that will help them as an adult if they have a career where they need to have discussions during a meeting or event. You can have your child practice at home by having them write a short story and then read it aloud in front of family members.

A child might have a fear of going to the doctor. You can start by explaining to them the importance of going to the doctor which is to check to make sure they are healthy and to get help if they are feeling sick. You can read them a book about going to the doctor, and get them a doctor toy play set to get them more familiar with what going to the doctor’s office is all about.

When your child experiences fear you shouldn’t laugh or tease them about it. That can affect them negatively. Even if we think it’s silly, their feelings can really be hurt and it can scar them emotionally if we laugh at them for how they feel. Maybe you have a memory of being teased about a fear you had. It’s not really fun to be teased about our feelings. We can pretend like we don’t care, but really deep down inside it bothers us.

Whatever fears your children have, as a parent, you can help them overcome them with repeated practice and encouragement. It’s not just a “discuss it one time and now we’ve conquered it” situation. Please understand that this requires time and patience. It’s not always easy. There are many resources available to use to help our kids.

Our children also need to learn to use wisdom when dealing with fear. There are some things in life that we should not do if it will put us in harm’s way. For instance, it would not be wise to get close to a wild lion that you are afraid of because there’s a high probability that you would get hurt. It would not be wise for children to give into negative peer pressure if a group tries to persuade them to do something scary that would hurt them.

I have found from my teaching and parenting experiences that reading books on topics that relate to your kids’ fears is helpful. You can also play songs that sing about being brave and showing courage. Check out the Fun Music List for Kids Set 2- Courage Songs for Kids available on the Free Resources page. God is always here to help us find the tools we need to support our kids. You can do this!

The Power of Music and How You Can Use it to Help Your Kids

Music is so powerful and can be such a beautiful thing when used positively. Think about a song you can relate to or a song that encouraged you. Now think of a song that you heard that messed with your mind in a negative way and made you feel sad, angry, or depressed.
Just like music affects us as adults, it affects our children. Children pay attention to the lyrics in songs more than we give them credit for.

Playing age- appropriate songs around children is so important. It was disheartening to me as a teacher, when I would hear young children repeating lyrics they heard from songs that were way too mature for their age. I realized how easy it is to think kids aren’t paying attention to what they see and hear around them because they really do absorb it all. As parents, it’s our job to protect our children and preserve their innocence. If we really take time to think about it we can conclude that children should not be listening to songs that talk about content that is inappropriate for them such as getting high off drugs and sleeping around with different people. Sadly, so many kids are hearing music like this on a regular basis and it affects them negatively. Even if they don’t fully understand what they are listening to, ideas are being planted in their mind which can affect their future actions as they get older.

The good thing is that there are a ton of talented music artists out there who make really good music that is appropriate for kids. Music with great lyrics and beats~ so good you will find yourself enjoying it as an adult. You can use music to teach and encourage your kids to set them up for success! There is research that explains how children can learn through music. It can develop their language by teaching them sounds, new words, and meanings of words. Music can teach children new concepts and inspire learning. It can increase their vocabulary development.

I started playing children’s music for my kids throughout the day, beginning when they were babies. I can say first hand there are many learning benefits. In a way, music can do teaching for you if you are intentional about it. As a classroom teacher, I would find fun learning songs that aligned with the content that was being taught. Hearing the catchy songs made the learning stick in their minds.

In the morning I play inspirational songs for my kids to remind them (and myself) about God’s power and love for them. It’s a great way to start the day. During breakfast time and lunch packing time, the music is blasting, we are singing, learning, and being reminded of God’s presence. Music can put you in a good mood if you listen to the right tunes. I play music while my children are playing with their toys. They are learning reading skills, math skills, positive character, new stories, Biblical principles, science skills… the list goes on and on. There is music to calm your children down when they are upset. There are bedtime songs, good morning songs, clean up songs, potty training songs… so many beneficial songs that you can use to support your children.

Please check out the free resources page to download the music lists available that you can use to create a playlist on your phone for your kids. Let’s work together and feed positivity and knowledge into our kids through music.

Building Trust Between You and Your Children

It’s important for children to trust their parents and for parents to trust their children. Trust takes time to build. We can show our children we love them and that they can trust us starting at a young age. Unfortunately, the world we live in is full of distrustful people. Our children need to feel safe in knowing that we, their parents, will provide an atmosphere where they feel secure to be themselves and talk to us about any topic, even uncomfortable ones.

As parents we can make a commitment to build a positive and trusting relationship with all of our children. I’ve heard of situations where children have gone through negative things but they never opened up to their parents about what was going on because there was never any trust built between them. We can avoid many problems and fix situations by simply paying attention and talking with our children. And in order for them to feel comfortable talking and opening up to us, we need to take time to build trust with each of them.

All children want to feel loved and cared about by their parents. And those who don’t receive it can easily become prey to evil predators that take advantage of insecure children and teens. This is not to scare anyone, but to serve as an encouragement to parents to genuinely be involved in your children’s lives. We can’t be so busy or so unobservant of what is going on with our kids.

Here are some ways that I believe are helpful in building trust with your children. The first is that you should talk to your kids each day about how they are feeling, details of events from the day, and the friends and people they are interacting with. Pay attention to their words, tones, and body language. Talk to them in a caring way, not in a distrustful way.

Secondly, we can build trust with our children by being careful not to embarrass them. For example, sometimes people will post pictures on social media of their children misbehaving or doing something shameful. I think it is helpful to think about how your child would feel if they knew their actions were posted online for the world to see. How will they feel as teenagers knowing there is an embarrassing photo or video of them posted online? Sure, you can delete it but it’s still in the cloud. It's something to think about. Also the way we talk to them matters. If they are out in public doing something wrong, you can privately talk to them where only they can hear you so they aren’t humiliated in front of everyone.

The third way to build trust with your children is by not telling everyone about the negative situations they may be going through. Certain situations that your children go through don’t always need to be shared with others. You are breaking your child’s trust when you go around telling everyone about the negative things they are experiencing. And many times the people you share it with will share it with someone else, which leads to continuous gossip about your child. Proverbs 11:13 says, “A gossip betrays confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” Just like you wouldn’t want a friend or trusted person spreading your personal business, you shouldn’t do it to your kids. Children have feelings too. Many times we think it doesn’t matter and that things don’t affect them, but they do. Kids understand more than we give them credit for.

The fourth way to build trust with your children is to keep your word. Can your children trust you to do what you say you are going to do? Or have you set a standard to where they don’t believe anything you say or view you as a liar because the majority of the time you never follow through? Would you trust someone who consistently didn’t follow through with what they said they would do? Kids pick up on this type of behavior from their parents.

Lastly, parents should tell their children that they trust them to do the right thing. Knowing that you have this expectation of them will encourage them in this area. You should also compliment your kids when trust is shown. Tell them you are proud of them when they do right. I let my kids know that I appreciate it when they tell me something that happened when I wasn’t around that they could have kept to themselves. I say, “Thank you for telling me. I’m so glad I can trust you to tell me things.” And it makes them feel good and encourages them to do it again.

Building trust with all of your kids is important. There are too many situations in which favorites are played amongst siblings. And it’s hurtful to the child who feels left out. Each child should feel loved. And parents have to find a way to connect and build trust with each child, no matter their personality.

I hope you are encouraged to create a safe environment in your home and wherever you go that shows your children that you love them and that they can trust you. Take it one step at a time, day by day. With consistency in this, you will see your relationship with your children positively grow. Everything mentioned in this post, I have to continue to work on with my children too. You are not alone. I pray this blog will be a blessing to all parents who read it. You can do all things with God’s help!

Teaching Your Kids How to be Organized

I think it’s very beneficial to teach our children how to be organized. Things go a lot smoother when things are organized. I’ve learned that having an organized and tidy space helps keep your mind calm. I personally start feeling a bit anxious during times when my home gets messy. But I always feel better when items are put back in their designated place.

My first year of teaching, I had a team leader who was very organized. Her organizational skills intrigued me, so I observed what she did. She had binders and file folders to keep her papers in order. Bins and boxes were used to store supplies. Everything was labeled. After learning from her, I started implementing organization in my classroom. It felt so good to have things organized. I also applied that organization principle in my home. And of course after getting married and having kids, I’ve had to put more work into staying organized.

The challenge I had when teaching was that most children, unfortunately, had difficulty with keeping their area and materials in order. And it made me think of how much smoother classes would go if children learned organizational skills at home from their parents. There is so much academic content to focus on in the classroom, that it leaves very little time for teaching organization skills in the classroom. I really believe that if kids learn how to be organized at home it will transfer into them being organized with their materials at school. There are some schools that do grade kids on how well they organize their materials and space. And I think that receiving a grade in this area motivates those parents to work on organizational skills with their children. Even if your child is not graded in this area, teaching them how to be organized is extremely beneficial.

I taught my children starting at a young age how to keep their items organized. Are they perfect at it? No, but they are growing in this area each day with the guidance from my husband and me. Here are some strategies I use with my kids that you might by interested in trying. My children’s toys are organized into categories and placed in bins. Every bin is labeled. This way they know where everything is supposed to go without confusion. For example, we have a vehicles bin, dolls bin, kitchen play toys bin, Legos bin, trains bin, science experiments bin, writing/drawing materials bin, etc. I love clear plastic bins so we can easily see inside of them. You can put them on a shelf or just have stackable bins. You can also create your own labels. First, I used index cards and wrote on them with marker. Then I gradually traded them for typed labels which I easily made from Microsoft Word. After typing them I printed and laminated them, then taped them on the bins.

We also have a system for organizing their books. They place them on bookshelves and baskets. I did try the rainbow color system because I thought it was cute and that doing this would make it easier to put the books back. But it didn't last long- lol. So now they just place them in the basket or bookshelf and I straighten them up to my liking.

It doesn’t matter what system you choose, just find what’s best for your family. The good thing is that you can find an abundance of ideas online. I am a fan of Pinterest and have used many ideas from others who are very organized and creative.

The home is more peaceful when it’s clean and organized. Of course, there will be times when things get messy and out of control. But you just have to set aside time to put things back where they belong. I love the quote by Benjamin Franklin that says, “A place for everything, everything in its place.”

You and your family will feel better and be able to think more clearly when you have a consistent system of keeping your home tidy and organized. And yes, it takes a lot of hard work over and over again in order to maintain it. That’s just how it goes. I’ve trained my mind to accept that it is something that needs to be done every day and we just do it. I play some fun music to motivate myself and the kids and we get it done. And we feel so much better.

Life in general runs smoother when things are organized instead of cluttered. There is a Bible verse that relates to this from 1 Corinthians 14:40 (NIV) which says, “But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.” I hope this encourages you to try some new organization ideas in your home and that you are inspired to teach your kids how to be organized. Teaching them organizational skills will set them up for success now and in the future.

Setting Expectations for Your Children as a Parent

One strategy that teachers use to positively manage their classroom is to set expectations for their students before doing an activity or assignment. Before hearing a story, students are told they need to sit quietly and listen without talking or playing around. The teacher will tell them that they are going to answer questions after hearing the story. Telling students these expectations ahead of time helps prepare them so the activity can run more effectively.

This same method should be applied to parenting. Kids need to know what their parents expect of them before an event or activity. For example, if you are going to the store, you can tell your children that you expect them to behave properly. Remind them that you are only shopping for the items on your list. Inform them that you do not want them to whine or cry in the store. You might say that if they have a temper tantrum in the store they will lose their TV time at home (or whatever form of discipline you use). Be sure to follow through with whatever you say you are going to do. If you don’t follow through they will not take you seriously. And you make it harder for yourself in the long run.

I can think of times when I was frustrated with my children’s behavior. But if I’m honest, sometimes I was part of the blame because I did not tell them my expectations beforehand. Now there does come a time where children should know better if it’s something you have been teaching them repeatedly. But children do need reminders often. The good thing is that you will notice improvements in your children’s behavior when you consistently set clear expectations for them so they will know what is required of them.

Some parents have told me that their children have a difficult time completing their homework because they don’t feel like doing it. As a parent, it’s important that you set expectations. Explain to your children that you know they are smart and you want them to do their best. Inform them that homework is an important part of their learning and that your expectation is for them to be diligent to sit still for the required time to do a good job on their assignments. Notify them that completing their homework helps make them smarter. Let them know that you expect them to use their self-control and discipline to complete their work, even if they don’t feel like it.

I also believe that parents should tell their children their expectations of how they should behave in school. Parents should tell their children that they expect them to do their best and have good behavior at school. Children need to know that the expectation is for them to listen to their teachers, interact respectfully with other students, and to learn.

You might feel frustrated because your kids don’t clean up after themselves. But have you told them what you specifically need done? Or do you just say clean up and expect them to know exactly what to do? It’s something to think about. I’ve learned with my own kids that I have to clearly state my expectations for cleaning rooms in the house. I made a chores list and they sat with me as I explained my expectations of them.

After reviewing a cleaning expectations chart with your children, you will have to monitor them as they do it to make sure it gets done. This is important to realize. You can’t just talk with them one time and expect them to magically be great at it. It doesn’t work that way. You will be disappointed if you expect that to happen. It’s helpful to accept the fact that we will have to guide them in this repeatedly. Eventually they will get it. And of course you will have “off days” sometimes, where things don’t go as planned and everything is a mess. It’s ok. Just give yourself some grace and be determined to do your best the next day.

Is it fair for children to be expected to do something well when clear expectations have not been set for them? Think about if you are working at your job and you are given an assignment with no clear direction of what should be done. It’s a bit frustrating to get reprimanded by your boss if you never received clear instructions for your tasks. How many times do we mistakenly expect our kids to perform well in areas that we have not clearly explained appropriate expectations for? It’s something to consider. I have to remind myself of this often too.

I hope you are encouraged to make a commitment to help your children do their best by setting expectations for them. You can set expectations for chores, homework, school, behavior… the list goes on and on. Kids generally do better when they have clear expectations. You will have better peace of mind, knowing that your kids are doing what they are supposed to do.

Possible Reasons for Negative Behaviors in Your Children That You Might Not Realize

There are times when parents are surprised about an inappropriate behavior that either their child did or someone else’s child did. They usually don’t understand where the behavior is coming from. My teaching and parenting experiences have taught me there are different factors that can cause negative behaviors in children. Many times we don’t realize the causes. It could be possible that the child picked up the negative behavior from a show they saw on T.V., or from a video game they played, or a song they heard. They could have overheard a conversation or saw someone they know do that behavior such as a parent, cousin, friend, older sibling, uncle, etc. Children observe a lot more than we think they do.

I remember a situation in which a child had done something very inappropriate. After having a long discussion with the mother, she realized that her child probably got the idea to do this from an adult show she and her husband were watching while the kids were around. Teaching in the classroom has taught me that kids are always watching and listening even when we think they are not. This happens even when they are little. My husband and I have learned to talk in code for some topics if our kids are close by. Other times we wait until the kids are doing quiet time in their bedrooms, playing in a different room that is not close by to where we are, or when they have gone to sleep for the night to talk about certain subjects that are too mature for them.

I’ve learned that being a parent requires sacrifice and that we will experience inconvenience many times. I take what my children listen to and watch very seriously because I have seen a lot in my teaching days and I know the dangers of too much mature and inappropriate content being viewed by children. Requiring sacrifice in this area means you might have to wait until later to listen to that adult podcast because your children are sitting in the car with you or playing in the same room as you when you are cooking. You might have to wait to put your children to bed before binge watching your favorite TV shows on Netflix. You might have to tell your children to leave the room during the commercials of a football game because you don’t want them to see a scene from an adult TV show showing someone shooting a gun at people.

Are your kids subconsciously learning things they shouldn’t know about right now? Maybe there is a song that you or someone they know plays that has adult sexual content. Is your toddler or school age child listening to the words and getting those ideas in their head at a young age? Kids pick up on songs and because their brains are like sponges, they can repeat what they hear. Even if they don’t fully understand what they are listening to, ideas are being planted in their head which can affect their future actions as they get older.

Monitoring what your children are watching and listening to takes work. But it’s worth it. You can also teach your children that they can stop watching a show if it starts showing things that are wrong and against moral standards. This way if you aren’t near them while they are watching a show, they can turn it off on their own. Yes, this is possible if you teach your children how to do it. Kids are capable of doing a lot more than we give them credit for.

There have been shows that my children had been watching that we had to stop. And of course they were disappointed. But after explaining to them why we stopped they were able to understand and move on. And we found better shows for them to enjoy.

Every show that is created for children is not appropriate. Just because a show has cartoon characters does not mean it is good for children to watch. Here are some helpful questions to consider. Do you know what your children are watching at home, at their grandparents’ house, at a friend’s or neighbor’s house? It might seem like I’m overreacting, but I can’t express enough how important it is that you know these things and protect your children. Are they learning negative behaviors from the characters on the TV shows they watch and repeating what they see? Are they having trouble sleeping at night because they saw something scary on TV and now they don’t want to close their eyes because the image keeps popping in their head? Does your child have trouble focusing and behaving in school because they stay up most of the night on their electronic devices instead of getting enough sleep to feel well rested for learning in the classroom?

The people your children spend the majority of their time with matters because they will influence them either positively or negatively. Even as adults, we can become negatively influenced if we aren’t careful. “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” This quote is from the Bible (1 Corinthians 15:33). I’ve seen kids who were on the right path, but went the wrong way because they were spending a lot of time with people who behaved inappropriately.

As a parent, you can help your children with this. You can decline play dates or invitations to hang out with others who will have a negative impact on your children. You don’t have to give a reason to the other person as to why you aren’t attending. Just simply thank them for the invitation and say that you won’t be able to attend. You can set boundaries in life when needed. Seek to find friends and families to hang out with that are positive influences. You might have to initiate, but it’s worth it.

The way your child takes care of themselves can also affect their behavior. Consuming unhealthy foods and drinks on a regular basis can affect your child’s behavior. I was listening to a podcast that talked about how a lot of food is ultra-processed now, with so much added salt and sugar. That’s so detrimental to our bodies and overall well-being. If a child comes to school loaded on sugar, it may be difficult for them to focus on their classwork. Sometimes it causes them to misbehave and distract their classmates from learning. When a child doesn’t get enough sleep, it can cause them to be in a grouchy mood and lead to them disrespecting others.

It’s very beneficial to take time to talk with your kids and explain why you are making changes. If you make a decision to have them discontinue watching a TV show, explain to them why you are doing it. If they can no longer hang out with someone, tell them why. If you are changing the way your family eats, inform them as to why you are doing it. If you are giving them an earlier bedtime and saying they can’t bring their iPad to bed with them, be sure to provide clarity so they understand.

Whenever I have to make changes for my kids I tell them that I love them, that I want what’s best for them, and that everything I do for them is to help them. I tell them that I never try to do things to ruin their fun, it’s just that I care about them and always want to keep them safe. And my kids are receptive of my explanations, even if they are disappointed. There are some situations that might be more complicated and too mature to explain to your kids. In these situations you can tell your kids that you love them and that you cannot explain the details to them right now because they are too young to know about it. Let them know that they can trust you to do what’s best for them.

Sometimes there are issues that our children are experiencing that we can solve on our own if we just pay attention and make the necessary sacrifices and changes for our children. This is not an easy task. It takes commitment, work, sacrifice, and patience. You can train your children with wisdom in this area, starting at a young age. You can be mindful of what shows and songs you play around your babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and school age children. You can be intentional about helping them take good care of themselves.

If you need fun age appropriate music for your kids, it’s available on the Free Resources page of this website. All you have to do is create a playlist on your phone to make it easily accessible for you to play for your kids. Please also check out Parenting Toolkit #2, Lesson 7: Choosing Good Friends on the Free Resources page of this website if you need help teaching your kids how to make wise friend choices. Parenting Toolkit #3: Teaching Your Children to Love and Take Care of Themselves has simple lessons that you can read to your kids to help them in this area. You can research online to find websites that provide information about children’s TV shows. After reading the descriptions and comments, you can use wisdom to determine if the shows are appropriate for your children and align with your moral standards. For Christians, the Bible should be our guide for moral standards.

My hope and prayer is that you will be encouraged to help your children get back on the right track when you notice negative behaviors. Do your best, even when it’s hard, and don’t give up on your kids! God is with you and you can do this!

Teaching Your Children to Respect You as Their Parent and Strategies to Help You

It’s very important to teach your children that they should respect you as their parent. It’s sad the level of disrespect that many children have for their parents, as well as for other adults. And to be honest, many times it’s not always the children’s fault. Misbehavior and selfishness come easily to us as humans. It always takes extra effort and self-discipline to do the right things. Many children don’t show respect because their parents never taught them and it was never modeled. Numerous amounts of children are never corrected when they do wrong. How can they show respect and honor if they don’t know how?

As parents, we are to love and respect our children too. Can a child be expected to know how to show respect when they have a parent who is constantly yelling and putting them down for making mistakes or just because they are in a bad mood? It’s helpful to think about how your parents treated you as a child and how it has affected you as an adult. Our childhood experiences always affect our adult experiences in some way.

When teaching children how to show respect, you have to train them how to talk properly. They need to learn how to use positive words and tones. When your children make the wrong choice, correct them in a firm but caring way- not in a way that degrades them. It’s too easy to just let our children get away with disrespecting us because we don’t feel like putting in the time or effort to help them get it right. This is something that should be taught when children are toddlers. It’s interesting because when children learn how to talk and think, they start choosing their own tones and choices of words. As parents, we have to steer them in the right direction.

This is something I have to constantly work at too. I get it. Sometimes we don't correct our kids’ behavior when they talk to us disrespectfully because we are embarrassed. Other times it could be because we don’t want to deal with the potential whining moment from correcting their behavior. I find it helpful to tell my kids that they should talk to me and their dad in respectful tones and to do what we tell them to do. We model both respectful tones and disrespectful tones so they can see the difference. Then we tell them that they should use the respectful tone with us just like they want that treatment in return from us. We also explain there will be consequences if they choose to be disrespectful to us. For example, if they choose to disrespect us, this means they will lose TV time or miss out on a fun activity. Kids want and need love, structure, and direction from their parents. Our children are more willing to respect us and to do what we tell them to do when we show them that we genuinely love and care about them.

I received advice from someone I respect and they said as a parent you have to correctly manage your children’s behavior when they are young because if not, once they become teenagers, they might be out of control and it might be too difficult for you to redirect them because they’re already set in their ways. I know that I do not want to have out of control children or out of control teens. When I was a classroom teacher there were many times when I would see a child who was just so disrespectful to their parent, to the point that having their parent in the classroom to observe their behavior did no good, they actually acted worse. That was a mental note to me on how important it is as a parent to teach positive character and behavior to children starting at a young age. If your children are constantly behaving improperly and being disrespectful, it may be beneficial to have an honest moment with yourself and make a plan of how you will address this, so your children can learn how to be respectful to you and others.

Another thing to always remember is that children are going to make mistakes at times, just like us. And as parents we are going to mess up sometimes too. But you have to have the mindset to keep trying and to always do your best. It’s natural for children to test boundaries at times to see what they can get away with. Help your children to do good things and teach them to respect you as their parents, as well, as other adults. Doing this takes time- lots of dedicated time!

Please check out Parenting Toolkit #2, Lesson 1: Honor Your Mom and Dad on the Free Resources page, if you need help with teaching your kids the importance of respecting you as their parent. The Bible says that children should honor their parents. God can help you as you are teaching this to your kids. It feels good when your children behave well and respect you.

Helping Your Children Handle Opposition

Accepting the fact that everyone is not going to agree with you or like you all of the time is a topic that even adults can struggle with. It’s an important life lesson that children should learn from their parents early on, because they will encounter it throughout life. There will be times when your children might tell you that someone was unkind to them. They may say that someone said they don’t like them or that someone said they aren’t good at something. We have to teach our children to be strong and help them understand that everyone will not always be in agreement with them. When we teach them about their positive self-worth, as mentioned in the first blog post, we can help them understand that they are still special no matter what anyone else says or thinks about them.

Opposition is defined in the dictionary as a person or group of people opposing, criticizing, or protesting something, someone, or another group. You don’t have to look very hard to notice that opposition can be found all around us. Opposition is a part of life. In fact, the Bible gives us a heads up about how we will face problems and opposition in life. The good news is that we can be overcomers with God’s help.

There are many ways you can help your children deal with opposition. Model for them how to use their words positively. Children need to learn how to use their words to respectfully defend themselves if someone is bothering them. I taught my children that if someone is bothering them they are to firmly use their words to tell the person to stop. Then they are to walk away or continue with their activity. Now if it’s a serious problem, like someone is physically harming them or if they are being verbally harassed continuously, then they need to quickly get help from a trusted adult. You can also help your kids by teaching them to ignore when necessary. Assist them in understanding that some comments aren’t worth a response and can be settled by ignoring instead of aggressively arguing back and forth.

Like with anything in life, this is something that has to be taught and reminded to your kids repeatedly. In my years of teaching, I discovered that many children have challenges solving problems peacefully and independently because no one ever taught them the correct way to do it. In graduate school, I took a Young Children’s Conflict Resolution Class. One concept I learned was that children need to learn to solve conflicts on their own without an adult jumping in to intervene for them every time. Unfortunately, there are many adults who don’t know how to get along with others, especially if they have a different point of view. This is probably because they were never properly taught how to do this as a child.

Here are some phrases you can teach your children to say respectfully to help them during conflicts with peers. (1) “Don’t do that to me. I don’t like it.” (2)“Don’t talk rude to me. How would you feel if someone said that to you?” Also it’s beneficial to teach them to stay away from children who are disrespectful to them. When my children tell me someone is unkind to them, I tell them to not play with that child until they decide to be nice. Your children have the power to ignore and stay away from people who are not kind to them. They just have to be taught the proper way to do it.

You can help your children understand that it’s okay if someone doesn’t like the same things they like. We are all different and not going to like everything the same. I remember a time when one of my children’s feelings was hurt because another child said they didn’t like their art work. This was my response, “I’m sorry to hear that happened to you. Do you like your work?” The reply was yes. I went on to say, “Good, that’s all that matters is that you like it. It doesn’t matter if the other person doesn’t like it. You don’t like everything you see. So they don’t have to like everything either. Everyone is not going to like everything you do. You are still wonderful and special.”

Now obviously the other child wasn’t taught that you don’t have to say every thought out loud, especially if it will hurt someone’s feelings. But that’s a conversation for another day. Lol. The point is for your children to learn that in this life people will not always like you or the things you do. They can still love who they are and keep doing their best. The sooner you start teaching your children this, the better.

We live in a world where there is constant judging, difference of opinion, and disrespectful behaviors. Do your best to encourage, teach, and prepare your children to appropriately handle opposition. You don’t want them feeling insignificant or to be discouraged from doing their activities every time they are faced with opposition. It will take time and patience, but you will most likely see improvements in the way they respond, if you stay consistent in guiding them in this area. Doing this prepares them for adulthood. Everything you do (or don’t do) plays a part in how your children will be when they become adults. Don’t give up! You can always pray and ask God to help you through it!

Don’t Give in to Your Kids’ Whining and Complaining

It can be so frustrating when your kid starts whining out in public because they aren’t getting their way. They want that toy in the store that you said they can’t have. They start whining at the top of their lungs. Everyone in the store is looking at you, as if you are a horrible parent. So what should you do? Option 1: Give in to your child’s demands, even though you know you shouldn’t do it. This way the crying will stop and so will the stares from strangers. Option 2: Be firm and patiently tell your child that you already said no and that they aren’t getting a toy every time they go to the store. And ignore the stares of the people around you. Well as hard and uncomfortable as it may be, option 2 is the best option.

I’ve learned through my own teaching and parenting experience that giving in to your children’s whining and complaining demands only teaches your children to continue that behavior because they know they will get their way. Children are very smart and catch on quickly. Sometimes we don’t feel like dealing with the situation. There are times when we let the opinions of others negatively influence us. Trust me, I totally get it. But we have to teach our children that this type of behavior is not acceptable.

It’s helpful to tell your children your expectations of behavior before entering a situation. For example, I tell my children BEFORE we enter the store that we are only getting the items on our list. They are also told that they will be disciplined if they decide to have a temper tantrum in the store. Reminding your children each time helps them so they know what you expect.

Also you must follow through with your consequences. If they decide to whine and complain after you gave them a warning of what would happen (e.g- losing screen time, getting their favorite toy taken away for the day, etc) then you have to follow through with what you said you will do. If you don’t follow through you are teaching them that they can ignore what you say, do whatever they want to do, and not receive any type of punishment for negative behavior. The more you follow through, the easier it becomes.

Kids love their snacks. You might find that your children want to overeat. They want more and start whining because you said they can’t have more. I’ve learned to explain to my children that the reason I don’t want them to overeat is so they don’t get a stomachache. I tell them that they shouldn’t eat too much sugar because it’s not good for their body or teeth. I also explain to them the importance of monitoring their food portions so they can feel good and maintain a healthy weight. This can be hard because kids enjoy snacks. But it’s important we teach children healthy habits. If a crying and whining session starts while you are at an event, talk with your child privately, away from the others. Remind them about the correct way to behave.

Screen time is another favorite for children. When their allotted screen time is over, they usually want to continue watching more TV. I’ve been in this situation too. Some strategies I use are telling my kids that too much TV is not good for their brain. I remind them of all the other fun activities they have at home to do such as playing with toys, reading, drawing, writing, playing board and card games, using their imagination, and playing outside. Yes, in the beginning, your kids will most likely whine and complain about how they want to keep watching their TV show. This is a normal response. Eventually, if you stay consistent, they will learn that there are more things to do with their day than watch TV or play games on the phone or iPad. They will learn to be more creative. And you are teaching them that complaining and whining will not allow them to get their way.

There are times when your child might whine because they aren’t ready to leave when they are playing. This could happen while they are on the playground, at a play date, or special event. I have found that giving them a heads up that they have 5 minutes left to play helps. This way they don’t have to stop right on the spot in whatever they are doing. This gives them time to squeeze in one more quick activity. I usually set a 5 minute timer on my phone. When it goes off I tell them “Your timer has gone off. It’s time to go.” If they take too long to come I say “If you want me to let you do more fun things you have to come so we can leave when it’s time to go”. I’ve also played songs or said a line from children’s songs that help with these situations. The songs are “It’s Almost Time to Stop” by Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and “Time to Go” by StoryBots. I recommend you try playing these songs for your kids wherever you stream music. Songs really help motivate kids.

Homework is another time when children might complain or whine. It’s important to teach them that homework is important for their learning and it’s required of them to complete whether they want to or not. Teach them the importance of great work ethic and diligence. Let them know that complaining and whining will not get them out of doing their responsibilities. Some methods that can help are to allow them to have a break and snack when they get home from school so they can unwind. Then you can tell them that the quicker they get started, the quicker they will get it done so they can play. Remember to be consistent.

Doing chores can invite complaining and whining too. Kids need to learn how to do chores so that they can take care of their home when they become an adult You can make them a chore list and explain your expectations so they know what is expected of them. Then remember to follow through with it. It will benefit them in the end.

It’s normal for kids to initially whine and complain when they don’t get their way. You are not alone. As a parent, you have to teach them the right way to behave. Don’t let your children’s whining and complaining intimidate you. Don’t worry about others’ opinions of you. It’s easy for others to judge when they aren’t in that particular situation.

It takes time to train our children and help them in this area. Even when you feel you may have mastered it, there will be times when your children will test you in order to try to get their way again. But you can be firm, loving, and patient with them so they can improve their character. Don’t give up! What you do for your kids now helps mold how they will be as an adult. Have you ever met an adult who is always whining and complaining every time something doesn’t go their way? Don’t let your children turn into that kind of adult. Remember, your kids need you to help guide them. You can do everything you need to do with God’s help.

Parenting Your Children Requires a Great Amount of Your Time, Patience, and Hard Work

Wouldn’t it be awesome if it only took one time to teach our kids important lessons and that they would just magically get it? Well I’m sure we can agree that it’s just not the case. The truth is, it takes time after time of hard work and patience from parents to develop good behavior and strong academic skills in their children.

As parents, we want our children to do well and grow up to be successful in fulfilling their purpose in life. It starts at home with making sure they are receiving the skills needed for positive character and learning. I love learning about successful people and finding out how hard they had to work to get to where they are in life. It didn’t just instantly happen. They had to consistently work hard.

I was listening to a podcast that mentioned Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, one of the most influential music composers. It’s interesting because people called him a genius and thought his composing of music came easily to him. But he said it was just the opposite- that it took continuous commitment and hard work for him to become successful. What I have found, after taking time to learn about different people who have been successful in their profession, is that they made a decision to consistently devote time and hard work. They didn’t just get lucky- they put their all into it.

Learning about Stephen Curry, a professional basketball player for the NBA, was inspiring. Here are two quotes from him that are very powerful and good to remember. The first is, “Success is not an accident. Success is actually a choice.” The other quote he said was, “If you take time to realize what your dream is and what you really want in life- no matter what it is, whether it’s sports or in other fields- you have to realize that there is always work to do, and you want to be the hardest working person in whatever you do, and you put yourself in a position to be successful. And you have to have a passion about what you do. Basketball was mine, and that’s what’s carried me to this point.”

After learning about both Mozart and Curry, I realized these concepts can also be applied to parenting. We have to be passionate about our parenting. We have to commit to put in the necessary work to help our kids so they can enjoy life and become successful. We will repeatedly have to teach and model to them how to be diligent, responsible, honest, humble, and well behaved. They will consistently have to work hard in their studies to be proficient in reading, math, and other subjects. Even when you think your children have mastered something, there will be times when they make mistakes. Then as a parent, we lovingly remind them the correct way it should be done.

This is something I continue to remind myself. It is not easy at all. But I tell myself daily how it will positively pay off in the end if I stay committed and don’t give up. It’s worth it to me because I love my children very much and want them to be the best they can be.

I’ve learned that you can’t expect to get your desired result without putting in the work. For example, I want my kids to be fluent readers with great comprehension skills. So I have committed to making sure they are reading each day and completing comprehension activities to enhance their skills. If I am not consistent with this, I shouldn’t be surprised if their skills start to decline.

As a parent, you have to be committed to teaching your kids moral character as well as academic discipline in order for them to achieve goals successfully. There are no short cuts to this. It requires your time, hard work, and patience for them to do well in these areas.

It’s so important that you don’t give up on your children. Your children need you to help them. Please don’t just solely rely on your children’s school to teach them. Your child is one student among hundreds (or more) that attend there. To only depend on the school and to blame teachers for what your child lacks, is scary for you and your kids. There are so many resources available online that you can access to help your children. Yes, it will require investment, sacrifice, and time. But your children are worth it.

You are your children’s number one teacher and advocate. I encourage you to challenge yourself to make a commitment to put in the necessary time and hard work to help them. Having been a classroom teacher, I want to inform you that it’s so important that you help your children in the areas that they are struggling in. Be a loving parent and do something positive about it so you can help them. I cannot emphasize this enough. Your kids need you.

Praying to God and asking Him to give you the patience that you need as you support your children in this parenting journey really does help. Pray that He will give you direction so you can figure out the best plan to use for your children. You can do this with His help!

To Whom Much is Given, Much Will be Required

“To whom much is given, much will be required.” I remember the first time I heard this quote. What does this mean? The more you have, the more work it requires to successfully maintain it. When I was young, I was naive in believing that there were people in this world that were perfect and had it easy. But that is so far from the truth. It’s easy to assume when we don’t see behind the scenes.

Let’s break it down. If you move from an apartment to a house, it takes a lot more work to keep clean. When you start with 1 child and then increase to a total of 2 or 3 children it takes more money, time, and patience to parent them. Being promoted on a job means more tasks and responsibilities are expected of you in order to maintain the position. Getting more clothes results in more laundry or dry cleaning to do plus more space to store it all. Obtaining a more expensive vehicle leads to a higher car payment as well as keeping up with maintenance costs. That’s how it goes with everything in life.

Even if a parent is able to afford a house cleaning service, they’ll still have to work to keep their home clean. This is especially true if you have children living at home. You have to keep up with cooking, cleaning, laundry, putting away toys… the list never ends. Plus you are required to keep up with your career duties in order to make the money to pay for the service.

When you are blessed financially, more is expected of you in regards to generosity and helping others. It also takes more work to manage your funds efficiently. When you are gifted with talents, you are expected to share them for the benefit of others. This takes work. All of this is in the Bible. Part of Luke 12:48 says “… From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”

Do you ever wonder what you can do to have peace and calm with all that is required of you? I often wondered this. I’ve learned that it’s helpful to accept that work is a part of our daily lives and that is something that will not change while we are here on this earth. It’s one of the reasons we were created. We feel a lot better about ourselves when we discipline ourselves to accomplish our tasks.

Those that have received salvation and live out the Christian faith can be encouraged by knowing that God rewards us when we do our best work in every area of our life. These areas include marriage, parenting, taking care of our home, career responsibilities, volunteer work, etc. Not only does God promise to reward us on earth, but He promises to reward us in heaven too. Understanding that you have a purpose in every area of your life really makes a difference. Instead of dragging through each day, you can be determined to do your best and find meaning as well as joy in life.

You can train your mind to see your work as a privilege, instead of a burden. I discovered this concept when I read the book Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God’s Work by Timothy Keller. Having a good attitude while doing your work is also important. You have to do it anyway, and having a negative attitude really won’t change anything. It actually makes it worse. Our kids are always watching us so our attitude towards work will influence how they think of work. If you are always complaining about the work you have to do, most likely your children will do the same. They will have a more positive view of work if you model that behavior for them.

I think it’s also beneficial to inventory your life. You can look at your schedule to see if anything needs to be changed or removed so you don’t always feel so overwhelmed. It’s easy to forget that we have some control over our schedules and can decline things when needed. Maybe instead of signing your child up for two extracurricular activities in one season, you can reduce it to one. This way you don’t feel like you are always on the road and rushing through homework. Before committing to any activity or buying something, it helps to take time to think about the work it will require and if you can handle it or not. If you decide that you can handle it prepare yourself so you can be successful with it.

You can teach your children these concepts starting at a young age. Tell your kids that as they increase in each grade level there will be more classwork and homework required of them. The work load in kindergarten is different from first grade, second grade- all though elementary school. Then there is middle school, high school, and college. Let them know that the work will get more challenging, but that you know they have what it takes to work hard and do their best.

Prepare your children so they can positively go through life with a mindset to accomplish tasks and maintain all the blessings they receive in life. You can start by telling your children this: “God blesses us with things. The more things we have, the more is expected of us to maintain and take care of them. You are blessed with toys. It’s your responsibility to take care of them. Sometimes you receive a new toy as a gift, which can be added to the ones you already have. The more toys you have, the more toys there are for you to clean up. Let’s keep them organized in containers to make it easier for you to keep track and take care of them.”

Here’s another example. “I’m so proud of you for joining the soccer team after school. This is going to require more responsibility from you. You will be after school for an hour. So when we get home you have to be responsible to finish your homework even if you don’t feel like doing it. You will also have to make time to practice your soccer skills at home so that you will perform well at your games. Let’s make a schedule so you can remember everything you need to do when you get home so all your tasks get done before bed time.”

I remind my children and myself to persevere and strive for excellence in our work. I’ve learned to change my mindset from complaining about all the mundane tasks to realizing that they are a blessing. If I’m tempted to complain, I remind myself to be grateful for all the things and opportunities that I have. It’s also good to remember that there is always someone with less than you who would love to trade places with you.

Find ways to make what you have to do enjoyable. You have to do it anyway, so why not make it fun. Try listening to music and podcasts with positive messages while doing chores and work. I love my cup of coffee when working. The delicious taste along with the caffeine makes everything better! I do a lot of writing, so I buy colorful pens and pretty notebooks. This makes the work more pleasant. Hanging up wall decor in your home that has inspiring quotes can help motivate you while cleaning your home. Figure out what works best for you and your family.

I cannot close this post without saying that God can help you to do everything that you need to do. Just ask Him to help you and He really will guide you if you are willing to listen. Do your best with all that you have been entrusted with and enjoy the journey!

Teach Your Kids to Love Who They Are- Who God Created Them to be

We live in a world of constant comparing and belittling. Many are emotionally scarred because of something negative that someone said to them about their appearance, personality, or socioeconomic status. A lot of people don’t know their self-worth.

As a parent, you have the power to create a positive self- image in your children. You can start this when they are young to show them their worth, to show them they are loved and special. I’m a big advocate for starting this when your child is a baby or toddler. Tell them that God loves them and they are here for a purpose. Tell your girls they are beautiful. Tell your boys they are handsome. Tell your kids that they are smart and you are proud of the things they do.

Teaching your children about their self- worth is not a one time thing. It’s something kids need to hear everyday. Each child of yours needs to hear it. It’s so important that they hear these things from you, their parent- their number 1 cheerleader.

Affirmation posters from Outus Store on Amazon.

Speaking positive affirmations to each of your children is very beneficial. It’s also helpful to post affirmations in their bedrooms. You can order some from Amazon. You can even simply make your own. Grab a piece of white copy paper and a marker. Write your own affirmations for them such as, “I am beautiful. I am smart. I am kind. I am brave.” Then have your children say them every day.

Add positive affirmations to your children’s morning routine to say each morning after getting dressed. Maybe having them say it during their nighttime routine after they are tucked in bed works better for your family. No matter what time of day you decide, just make an effort to try to do it daily. Even if you miss a day or two, if it’s posted up at least they can see it as a visual reminder each day. My children have theirs posted on the wall across from their bed. Their affirmations are the first thing they see when they wake up and when they go to bed.

There was a long period in my life where I was very insecure and did not love myself. Due to those feelings, I made a lot of foolish mistakes because I wanted to please others, even those who treated me wrong. If I had more confidence at that time, I would not have tolerated most of the things that I went along with and accepted. After college, I reconnected with God, and for the first time I truly learned about my positive self-worth. I understood my freedom in His Son, Jesus Christ. My whole life changed. I started to love myself and believe in who God created me to be. I learned to be courageous and walk away from those who did not respect me.

Now as a parent, I am teaching my children each day about their positive self-worth. I teach them not to think less of themselves just because someone does or says something mean to them. They know that they are loved by God and that they are special. My husband and I intentionally make sure they hear on a regular basis that we love them and are proud of them. My hope is that this inspires you to do the same for your children. Don’t wait for something negative to happen to begin this practice. I challenge you to begin this positive step now!

Affirmation posters from Gethelud Store on Amazon.